I remember the first time we said "I Love You." Do you remember?. We were laughing and then we looked into each other's eyes. We knew what we wanted to say, but we hesitated, afraid it was moving too fast. We both knew right then and there that we loved each other. We knew that no matter what happened, we would be okay because we were together. I may have told you before that I love you, but I've never told you that it's the kind of love that's mad, unconditional and forever. From the moment you told me you love me, my life had changed - for the better.
We've been through ups and downs, even the lowest of me being retained another year in poly and being unemployed almost nearly to 4 months.. I know that lately we have had a lot of external distractions and that those have placed a lot of strain on our relationship. So much has gone by that how can we compare this to that. Yes, we fight and argue but all couples go through this, or more, but through better or worse. Things are hard right now, and they seem to just be a big blurry mess. But I don't blame you for any of it. I know this is both of our faults so I don't expect you to say or do anything. I know that we are trying to fix all the screwed up things in our lives right now, and I hope we do get to make everything all better again. I am truly happy when I am with you. Your presence just lights up my world. I am sorry for the way I have mistreated you in the past and I know you are sorry for mistreating me.
We can be happy together if we work everything out, which I think we will. We have plans, we have dreams, and we have love. You are everything to me and I love you with all my heart. I know right now, deep down inside of you there is still that same love that you felt for me then, in you right now. It may be hard for you to let it out. I hope that you will be able to open up your heart again and let me back in.
Look at me; I'm way past pride. Isn't there some way we can try to be us again? Even if it takes a while, I'll wait right here until I see that smile that says we're us again. But no matter what we do or where we go, I will love you. You mean the world to me, and I hope that things will go back to normal. We have something special, something I almost messed up once, but would never mess up again. I know for a fact I love you and care about you. Maybe I am scared of some things, but when I really think about it; you're the best thing that has happened to me therefore I have nothing to worry about.
Please forgive me for all the hurt that I have caused you.
Thank you for loving me no way any one has ever tried. Thank you for knowing all the little things that means so much to me. Thank you for understanding that you and I need to take time together for fun, making love, talking and just spending time together. For everything you are, and mean to me, and everything I am becoming because you are in my life ... thank you!
Taufiq
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Sunday, April 10, 2011, 8:59 PM
